I wanna bring you to show and tell
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
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