can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Found the puke drawer
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
