You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
