OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
