this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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