Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We left an ass print on the piano.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
