he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
and she was petting her beer can
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
