I wannas sexs uuuuu
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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