To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My ass is underappreciated
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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