once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
