Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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