O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
