no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
