So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
