anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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