They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
