I'm lost and stupid without you.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize