We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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