Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
