No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
