New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize