I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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