ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
