I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
