if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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