awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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