why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
