you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
