I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Randomize
