doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
