I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
