the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
