brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
