pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
