Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
