Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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