U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
