I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize