im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
