I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
