my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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