wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
