And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
