oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
