We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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