you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
