So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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