last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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