What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
