I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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