I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
