so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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