He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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