Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
