she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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