apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
