I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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