Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize