I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
