they need to just BURY HIM!
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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