My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
