Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
