No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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